David's Broken Relationships, Part 2

Probably the most infamous example of a broken relationship in David’s life, maybe even more so than Saul, was David’s own son Absalom. This is a tragic story of a family literally torn apart by lust, revenge, murder, and rebellion. It begins with one of David’s other sons Amnon, who’s lust for and rape of his half-sister Tamar set into motion events that would ultimately lead to Absalom’s downfall:

After this Absalom the son of David had a lovely sister, whose name was Tamar; and Amnon the son of David loved her. (2 Samuel 13:1 NKJV)

Amnon’s cousin and friend Jonadab convinced Amnon to use trickery in luring Tamar into Amnon’s house so he could rape her:

So Jonadab said to him, “Lie down on your bed and pretend to be ill. And when your father comes to see you, say to him, ’Please let my sister Tamar come and give me food, and prepare the food in my sight, that I may see it and eat it from her hand.’” (2 Samuel 13:5)

The ploy worked and Amnon got what he wanted from Tamar. Scripture then records that afterward, Amnon hated Tamar and sent her away (2 Samuel 13:15).

When Absalom heard about these things, he began to hate Amnon in his heart and eventually plotted revenge by setting a trap for him and killing him two years later.

And it came to pass, after two full years, that Absalom had sheepshearers in Baal Hazor, which is near Ephraim; so Absalom invited all the king’s sons. Then Absalom came to the king and said, “Kindly note, your servant has sheepshearers; please, let the king and his servants go with your servant.”

But the king said to Absalom, “No, my son, let us not all go now, lest we be a burden to you.” Then he urged him, but he would not go; and he blessed him.

Then Absalom said, “If not, please let my brother Amnon go with us.” And the king said to him, “Why should he go with you?” But Absalom urged him; so he let Amnon and all the king’s sons go with him.

Now Absalom had commanded his servants, saying, “Watch now, when Amnon’s heart is merry with wine, and when I say to you ‘Strike Amnon!’ then kill him. Do not be afraid. Have I not commanded you? Be courageous and valiant.”

So the servants of Absalom did to Amnon as Absalom had commanded. Then all the king’s sons arose, and each one got on his mule and fled. (2 Samuel 13:23-29)

David got word of Absalom’s murder of Amnon and Absalom fled the country to Talmai the son of Ammihud, king of Geshur (2 Samuel 13:37), and was there for three years.

However a turn of events would eventually bring Absalom back to Jerusalem (2 Samuel 14:1-24), although some time still followed until David finally forgave Absalom (2 Samuel 14:33). I suspect however that Absalom never forgave David. It is likely that had Joab not intervened, Absalom never would have returned to Jerusalem and Absalom may have known that.

Although on the surface it appeared that all was well, Absalom secretly began a conspiracy to overthrow David and take the kingship of Israel from him by force. The years of separation seemed to have taken their toll on their relationship. The cycle of unforgiveness and bitterness would destroy a young man and his family.

Absalom for four years turned Israel against David by promising that if he were king, he would be more fair in dealing with disputes (2 Samuel 15:2-7) and in that way he gained the support of the people. He convinced David’s counselor Ahithophel to join the conspiracy against David and along with the chariots, horses, and men he provided for himself, Absalom proclaimed himself king and marched on Jerusalem sending David and his men fleeing.

A turn of events in which spies from David undermined Absalom, would prove to be Absalom’s downfall. Although David wished that Absalom’s life be spared, Joab the commander of David’s army killed Absalom (2 Samuel 18:14,15).

David however still showed his heart by weeping for Absalom bitterly:

Then the king was deeply moved, and went up to the chamber over the gate, and wept. And as he went; he said thus: “O my son Absalom- my son, my son Absalom- if only I had died in your place! O Absalom my son, my son!” (2 Samuel 18:33 NKJV)

Despite the rebellion of Absalom and the attempt on his life, David still loved his son and longed to be reconciled.

Ahithophel as mentioned earlier, was also a Broken relationship for David. Imangine for a moment that your son hates you and tries to kill you and take what belongs to you. That would be unbearable in and of itself. But what if your friend with whom you had shared meals, and whose advice you prized sided with your rebellious son?

This was the situation David found himself in when his son Absalom proclaimed himself king and invaded Jerusalem. Absalom was assisted by David’s royal counselor Ahithophel. Scripture does not tell us what it was that caused Ahithophel to side with Absalom in trying to overthrow David, but regardless of the reason it left its mark on David.

Even my own familiar friend in whom I trusted, who ate my bread, has lifted up his heel against me. (Psalm 41:9 NKJV)

In this Psalm, David laments his friend and counselor turning against him and seeking his life. Although he entrusts himself to God, one can only imagine the kind of pain David felt as he thought of Ahithophel’s treason.

Ahithophel however would eventually kill himself apparently after Absalom overruled his advice and instead took the advice of Hushai, one of David's spies.

Now when Ahithophel saw that his advice was not followed, he saddled a donkey, and arose and went home to his house, to his city. Then he put his household in order, and hanged himself, and died; and he was buried in his father's tomb. (2 Samuel 17:23 NKJV)

As we might imagine, David saw his share of heartbreak and betrayal. I think that one of the biggest things we can get from these broken relationships is to note David’s unfailing trust in the Living God.

Be merciful to me, O God, be merciful to me! For my soul trusts in You; and in the shadow of Your wings I will make my refuge, until these calamities have passed by. I will cry out to God Most High, to God who performs all things for me. (Psalm 57:1,2 NKJV)

Particularly relevant is Psalm 3 which David composed while fleeing from Absalom.

LORD, how they have increased who trouble me! Many are they who rise up against me. Many are they who say of me, “There is no hope for him in God.” Selah.
But You, O LORD, are a shield for me, my glory and the One who lifts up my head. I cried to the LORD with my voice, and He heard me from His holy hill. Selah. (Psalm 3:1-4 NKJV)

Despite all of David’s troubles and despite all his failings, God never stopped loving David or delivering him when David needed him the most. O how great is God’s faithfulness to His children!