David's Broken Relationships, Part 1

Virtually any believer can identify with King David. Out of all the men of the Bible, it seems as if the scriptures are more honest about the life of David than any other person in scripture excepting maybe our Lord Himself. The honesty of Scripture concerning David extends to his triumphs (1 Samuel 17:12-58) to his colossal failures (2 Samuel 11:1-12:25) to incidents in his life (1 Samuel 18:1).

It is in these things that believers can take comfort and instruction from the life of David. Given that the New Testament places a high priority on the Old Testament for the instruction of the Church and its members (Romans 15:4; 1 Corinthians 10:6-11; 2 Timothy 3:16,17), we should look at the life of David (as well as any other person in Scripture) and consider well the lessons we can learn.

It seems that David knew more than most people the pain of broken relationships. These are relationships that started well but for one reason or another, ended disastrously with really no hint of any kind of reconciliation.

We start with David’s tortured relationship with his predecessor to the throne of Israel, Saul. It is David’s successes and his popularity and Saul’s jealousy that lead to Saul’s epic fall from grace.

The Bible notes that initially Saul loved David:
"So David came to Saul and stood before him. And he loved him greatly, and he became his armorbearer.
Then Saul sent to Jesse, saying, 'Please let David stand before me, for he has found favor in my sight.'” (1 Samuel 16:21,22)

David achieved a very high status in Saul’s court and among the people of Israel. Unfortunately, it would be David’s victory over Goliath and its aftermath that set Saul against David. Saul’s jealousy and paranoia over David’s popularity and the obvious fact that the Lord was with David but had left Saul, tore the relationship apart and ultimately ended with Saul’s tragic suicide (1 Samuel 31:1-6).

Saul’s daughter Michal, David’s wife was another broken relationship David endured. Scripture records that Michal was originally in love with David:
"Thus Saul saw and knew that the LORD was with David, and that Michal, Saul’s daughter, loved him…" (1 Samuel 18:28).

Michal even saved David’s life on one occasion from the wrath of Saul:
"Saul also sent messengers to David’s house to watch him and to kill him in the morning. And Michal, David’s wife, told him, saying, 'If you do not save your life tonight, tomorrow you will be killed.'
So Michal let David down through a window. And he went and fled and escaped.
And Michal took an image and laid it in the bed, put a cover of goats’ hair for his head, and covered it with clothes.
So when Saul sent messengers to take David, she said 'He is sick.'”
(1 Samuel 19:11-14 NKJV)

However, Michal’s love for David would eventually turn into hatred. Although it appears that Michal would continue as David’s wife, there does not seem to be any hint of reconciliation.

"So David went and brought up the ark of God from the house of Obed-Edom to the City of David with gladness. And so it was, when those bearing the ark of the LORD had gone six paces, that he sacrificed oxen and fatted sheep.
Then David danced before the LORD with all his might; and David was wearing a linen ephod…Now as the ark of the LORD, came into the City of David, Michal, Saul’s daughter, looked through a window and saw King David leaping and whirling before the LORD; and she despised him in her heart…Then David returned to bless his household. And Michal the daughter of Saul came out to meet David, and said, 'How glorious was the king of Israel today, uncovering himself today in the eyes of the maids of his servants, as one of the base fellows shamelessly uncovers himself!'...Therefore Michal the daughter of Saul had no children to the day of her death” (2 Samuel 6:12-14;16;20;23 NKJV).

A couple of things bear mentioning in this text. First, Michal’s disposition toward David has obviously changed. We read at first that she loved David greatly, even to the point that she defied her own father in saving his life.

However, there is probably one particular incident that turned Michal against David.

After the deaths of Saul and Jonathan, David was crowned King of Judah. However Ishbosheth, one of Saul’s other sons was crowned King of Israel and the two houses had a long civil war for control of the whole Kingdom. This is detailed in 2 Samuel 2-4.

During this conflict, Abner, one of Ishbosheth’s generals planned to defect to David’s side after an argument with Ishbosheth (2 Samuel 3:6-12). David agreed to Abner’s offer on the condition that He bring with him Michal his wife whom Saul had previously given to Paltiel while David was a fugitive from Saul: "…But Saul had given Michal his daughter, David’s wife, to Palti the son of Laish, who was from Gallim." (1 Samuel 25:44 NKJV).

Seeing things from Michal’s perspective may help explain (though certainly not excuse) her antipathy towards David.

Here is her husband whom she apparently hasn’t seen in years, an enemy of the family, who has also married other women (see 1 Samuel 25:42,43; and also a list of his sons from these and other marriages – 2 Samuel 3:2-5). Meanwhile Michal has moved on with her life in a new marriage to a man who obviously loved her very much (see 2 Samuel 3:16 where he weeps over her as she is being taken away), and David forcibly removes her from that life. It was probably not a very happy reunion.

The next thing to notice is that verse 23 indicates that she had no children to the day of her death. This would seem to indicate (although we can not be dogmatic) that she and David continued to have a sexual relationship. If she had no children, the text would seem to imply that she tried to but failed. Even though David had other wives (Bathsheba; Abigail), David had to live in an unhappy marriage.

Next time we'll deal with two more of David's broken relationships.

-Christian